A Mother's Guilt

Am I the only mommy out there who feels guilty all the time? With constant help, support, and encouragement from Chris, you'd think I wouldn't feel so guilty all the time. But I do.

I feel guilty because I work. I should be staying home with my kids during their most precious time, right?

If I did stay at home, I'd feel guilty because I wouldn't be contributing to the family financially.

I feel guilty for going back to graduate school.... EVEN THOUGH I'm in school so I can teach at the collegiate level and ... yes ... have more time with my family. But in the meantime, while studying, researching, going to class... yup, guilt.

I feel guilty when I have girls night. Even though I know that EVERY mommy needs some girl time. But I feel guilty for leaving Chris with the kids. He doesn't have a guys night, so I guess I feel like it should be equal-playing-opportunity for all!

And even at night, when I want to go for a run - I wait until Brady goes to bed and Kennedy is watching TV or reading because I feel guilty for using daylight/family hours to work out.

Seriously. WHAT is wrong with me? Will it ever go away? Will I ever feel like it's okay to be away from my children for a few hours? Because I know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that I am a better mommy for having that time away. I remember being at home for maternity leave.. and after I was finally able to drive, I packed up the baby and went E.V.E.R.Y.W.H.E.R.E. I couldn't stand to be at home for days at a time. Having time to decompress gives me a renewed sense of energy for my kids. That energy gives me patience when they are a little cranky... it gives me the ability to be calm when they are not.... it gives me motivation to make story time THE BEST story time ever (with sound effects and everything!)..

So then why, I ask, should I feel guilty?