Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Beauty

My daughter is absolutely beautiful. She has the most gorgeous blue eyes, beautiful thick hair, and a smile that will melt your heart. This photo was taken by our friend DeAnn, who was starting her photography business right before Brady was born (June 2008). Being photogenic certainly further proves my point.

Of course her bubbly personality doesn't hurt, either. She walks into a room and I swear, it just lights up. She is always happy, always singing, joking around, giving hugs.... Kennedy absolutely loves life. And I love that about her.

But at five years old, she is already very focused on beauty... external beauty. She always asks me if she looks beautiful. She wants to know if I like the dress she is wearing... if her hair looks good. She asked her Nina to pick out the dress that would make her look the prettiest. She poses a lot (and kind of prissy-like) when we take her picture. I try to take pictures of us making silly faces just to keep it from being pageant-like ALL the time!! Now some of that could just be that she's a little girl who likes to play dress up and be a princess. But just how far can that go?

So I am actively focused on making sure that Kennedy knows there are more important things than being pretty. Something my friend Karen told me a couple of years ago has stuck with me and I repeat it to Kennedy every time she asks is she's pretty. Let me set the stage....

Kennedy and I had gone to Dallas to meet with Karen, my real estate agent who was selling our Texas house, to sign paperwork and check on the house. Karen told Kennedy that she was the exact same age as her son, P.J. Kennedy asked to see a picture and commented how cute P.J. was. Karen's response was genius.

Karen: "Yes, he is very cute, Kennedy. But do you know what's more important than being cute?"

Kennedy: "No..." (In her mind, there's nothing more important.)

Karen: "We think it's more important to be smart, funny, and kind."

Kennedy: "Hmmmph."

I have been repeating that to Kennedy ever since I heard it from Karen. I love that philosophy. We, as adults, know that it's more important to be smart, funny, and kind. But kids don't know that unless you teach them! It doesn't make it any easier on me to focus her attention to other personality traits when complete strangers call her "cutie pie" and "beautiful girl." I probably haven't helped the situation by telling her (on a very regular basis) over the years how pretty she is.

It's HARD being a girl. I remember being in school and wanting to have the latest brand of jeans, the best looking hair, the biggest hairbow, the newest shoes. I could go on and on and on. And I can see Kennedy heading in that direction. I'm slowly chipping away at her since she asked me last week if I thought she was funny.... NOT PRETTY. We'll get there!

3 comments:

Tracy said...

Great post! I love Karen's philosophy!

DeAnn said...

My muse :) we adore Kennedy inside and out!

But....she does get her hair obsession honestly!

Deni said...

Love that you shared that on here. I'll be checking back to read it again and remind myself to teach Cala the same thing. I'm so lucky to have good parent friends to learn valuable things from! Thanks for being one of them! And for the good chats on a good long run, those are priceless. How about 13.1, say about Feb 28th?!?