Self Image

I had a breakdown this weekend... about weight.

It's no secret that I have fought 20 to 25 pounds for quite sometime. I started gaining in college, then moved to Maine where it's cold ALL the time and wearing big, bulky sweaters and coats made it easy to hide even more weight... what I like to call my "fat coat."

Having two children in this body has been a miraculous blessing and I do not regret those added pounds. Getting them off... another story.

So here I am, with two kids and luckily, not the heaviest I've ever been... but still not where I want to be. And I find myself thinking about how much I hate this body. I look in the mirror and think "Yuck... you look awful in those pants!" "Suck it in, girl!" "I wonder how much liposuction costs?"

But right as I was on the verge of tears Friday night, I was watching television (holding my sweet, sleeping Brady) and heard someone say... "While I constantly criticize my body, this body has done some amazing things for me."

You know, my body is not my ideal body... but it has done some amazing things for me, too.

When my spirit was unsure, this body took me to Maine to meet my husband - who I could not live without. In the past five years, I carried two precious gifts from God in my body. I gave birth to both of them with no complications or health concerns. This body has run a couple hundred miles in the past two years and in the past few months, this body has endured training for a half marathon! Just Sunday morning, this body led me in a 11 mile run in a little over 2 hours.

So rather than beat myself up over the areas of myself that I hate, I will continue to work on improving them - but I'll also try to appreciate what my body has done for me.