You can't be a Southern Lady while running...

Beware: this post contains some "interesting" content!

I am about half-way through my half marathon training. Last weekend, I finished my longest run... ever. EIGHT miles! I was not sure what to expect since I had several factors to consider.

1. I'd never run that far before. (And actually my goal was only 7 miles)
2. I was planning to run outside, something I hadn't done in a couple of weeks.
3. It was a brisk 35 degrees with a windchill in the 20s!
4. I was going to try some new energy boosters.

So I meet Susie down at the parkway. Her distance made mine look pretty weak. She was running 22 miles as part of her marathon training. I started on my trek listening to my iPod. It took me about a mile to get situated. My iPod flew off my pants. My headband was making my headphones fall off. I was cold in some places, getting warm in others. To top it off, I had gas. At least I was outside!! After the first mile, I had adjusted and was getting into my groove. The second mile was a mental struggle.

How on earth will I finish this? I cannot believe I am out here. I should be at home with Chris and the kids. No... do this. You know you can. Stop thinking about what you're doing and think about WHY you're doing this. Now just run.

Back on track and doing good to mile four. Very energized. That's where I make a quick stop at the car, peel off a layer, guzzle half a bottle of G2 (low-cal gatorade) and pop a packet of electrolyte-filled jelly beans. About a minute break and back on the path. Half-way through. Mile four is more in the open. More wind.

I wonder how far Susie has gone? Dang that girl is fast. I wonder if I'll ever be able to keep up with her. Probably not... well, maybe in a few years. I'm approaching mile five. Uh oh.. what is the grumbling in my stomach? I'm not hungry.

This is about the time I start to realize that I have to go to the bathroom. Not #1 folks. There is no portolet on the trail... just some nearby woods on the trail. There is where the title of this post comes in.

"You can't be a Southern Lady while running."

It's true... because I had to sneak into the woods, take care of business and use the cleanest leaf I could find. Then I got back on the trail and finished my last three miles. But not before I threw up from the drainage, shot snot rockets from my runny nose and burped up jelly beans and G2.

But while this is gross to some, I know that I'm a true runner now. You do what you have to do for the race, which may even include enduring a bruised toenail!